The Great Social Media Blackout (Pro Traveler Edition)

This Week in Digital Rebellion: A Tour Director Goes (Temporarily) Rogue

Friends, countrymen, fellow content consumers – those of you who follow me on social media may have noticed I’ve reduced my online activity. Or you may not have noticed, especially if you’re like me and your newsfeed has been taken over by advertising like giant thorny vines took over Sleeping Beauty’s castle. Which means Mark Zuckerberg may actually be Maleficent. Something to ponder. Anyway, I’ve taken a bigger step this week. As you read this, I am officially OFF THE GRID. Well, mostly. I mean, I’m still texting my mom and taking approximately 400 photos of my cat, but as of Monday morning, I’ve declared a total break from social media. For seven whole days. *gulp*

Why This Week? Why Now?

Three reasons:

1. My Instagram suggested posts have become 87% ads for "life-changing" travel pants

2. I caught myself mentally composing tweets about hotel shower designs

3. I'm protesting from the window seat. Look, I’ve been out there rallying for important causes (did you know I worked for Greenpeace in my 20s?), but my travel lifestyle has left me with two critical handicaps:

   1. I’m rarely in one place long enough to sit, let alone sit-in.

   2. I’m old now. My knees hurt and I can't chant slogans for more than 10 minutes without needing a snack break and hydration

   So consider this my digital Boston Tea Party, but with less tea and more me searching through Spotify as an alternate distraction.

On Monday morning, I deleted apps with the gravitas of someone extinguishing the flame at the Olympic Closing Ceremonies, except I’ll be relaunching in a week instead of 2 years. Immediately I panicked about how I would find out what Zendaya wore to the Met Gala, but I took a deep breath and steadied myself. Rebellion requires discipline.

By Tuesday, I’d discovered that my phone now has 47% more battery life. Used the extra energy to:

• Subscribe to Brett Goldstein’s Patreon podcast, Films to be Buried With, where he interviews fellow comedians and other celebrities about their favorite films. I want to steal the idea….er, start an homage travel podcast called Destinations To Die For.

• Switch from taking photos of the cat to creating full videos

• Download the Merlin bird app that identifies birds by sound to find out what feathered demon from hell keeps waking me up before dawn every morning. Turns out it’s a red winged blackbird. Singing in the dead of night, my ass - that’s not singing, it’s nature’s car alarm.

Alternative Sharing Methods I’m Testing

1. The "Yell Across Rockefeller Plaza" Method
   Pros: Immediate feedback (usually in the form of confused stares)
   Cons: Can only reach fellow Tour Directors who are also trying to figure out where their group of 40 students can eat lunch for $15 per person or less

2. Email Postcards With Snarky Captions
   Current draft: "Wish you were here! (But glad I have a single room)"

3. Travel Journaling on Paper (Like It’s Freaking 1823)
   Latest entry: "Dear Diary, today I got lost. No one knows. It’s liberating."

4. Making Friends With Strangers IRL
   Conversation starter: "Hey, want to see 37 nearly identical photos of my cat?"

What I’ve Learned So Far

• Without constant posting, I’m experiencing something called... enjoyment?

• My thumb keeps spasming toward where the Instagram icon used to be

• Turns out sunsets are still beautiful even without 200 people knowing I saw them

Will I Last The Week?

As of press time (Wednesday morning), the withdrawal symptoms include:

• Itching to live-tweet my gelato flavors

• Withdrawal from withdrawal symptoms (meta, I know)

• A strange urge to write bad poetry about my journey

Stay tuned for next week’s inevitable return, when I’ll probably post 47 Reels in rapid succession captioned "SORRY I WAS GONE HERE’S EVERYTHING."