Memorial Day Travel: Gettysburg, Parades, and the Time I Marched in a Waterlogged Hoop Skirt
Memorial Day is here, which means three things:
Americans everywhere are firing up grills with questionable levels of expertise.
Traffic jams are inevitable (especially if you’re headed anywhere near a beach).
I am not in Washington, D.C. - and that’s a personal victory.
But before we get into my deep-seated aversion to our nation’s capital, let’s address the charity poker tournament update you didn’t ask for but are getting anyway - read the original post here.
Poker Tournament Recap: No Clooney, But Plenty of Cocktails
The Broadway Cares charity poker tournament was a blast, even though George Clooney appeared on the cards themselves (courtesy of his show Good Night and Good Luck), the man himself ghosted us all (rude). Instead, I:
Shook hands with legendary character actor Richard Kind (George’s actual best friend, by all accounts, but forever seared into my heart as the voice of Bing Bong in Inside Out).
Lifted an espresso martini with comedienne and Orange Is The New Black actress Lea DeLaria, who was carrying a Maleficent backpack that I immediately coveted.
Said ‘Hi’ to character actress Wendie Malick, who is effortlessly elegant AND gets to kiss Harrison Ford regularly on Shrinking. Goddess.
Watched The Birdcage’s Agador Spartacus Hank Azaria laugh uproariously with Wings and Chicago Med actor Steven Weber over…something. I wasn’t close enough to hear the joke.
While there was a sprinkling of recognizable faces, the majority of players were unknowns, equally split between Broadway creatives and the big money investment types. Sadly I ended up at a table of investment bankers who were more interested in networking than the game. I proceeded to order a variety of alcoholic beverages - I’ve always wanted to try a Cosmopolitan - and try to play well against 9 people who weren’t sure if a flush beat 3 of a kind. Did I get to the final table? I did not. I didn’t even get past the first 3 hours. Did I donate generously to a great cause? I did. And so did everyone else, raising $536,000 in total for Broadway Cares. Did I learn that theater people are the absolute best, especially when an open bar is involved? Absolutely. (but I already knew that)
Why I Boycott D.C. (Especially on federal holidays)
I used to lead tours in Washington, D.C. Key words: used to. Nothing kills the patriotic spirit faster than:
Random monument closures ("Sorry, folks, the Lincoln Memorial is ‘indefinitely unavailable’ because of… reasons.")
Protest-related detours (I support activism! Just not when herding 50 teenagers.)
The existential dread of navigating the Metro with a group (If you’ve ever lost a student in Union Station, you know.)
These days, I’d rather be the protester than the one trying to explain why we can’t visit the White House again.
My Preferred Memorial Day Vibes: Gettysburg or Small-Town Parades
If I’m feeling deeply contemplative, I head to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Walking those hallowed battlefields is a stark reminder of what happens when political divides spiral - and the ghosts there are way more palatable than D.C. bureaucrats. I took a road trip there in 2021 and found a shift of perspective after the hardships of Covid, honoring the over 620,000 soldiers who died in the U.S. Civil War. It’s still the deadliest war in American history and there were no foreign aggressors involved.
But if you want wholesome Americana, find yourself a small-town parade. Nothing says “USA” like:
High school bands slightly out of tune.
Kids waving flags bigger than they are.
Old men in VFW hats nodding solemnly.
Me, eating a questionable hot dog with zero regrets.
Bonus Nostalgia: My dad was a Civil War reenactor, so childhood Memorial Days meant marching in parades in Connecticut. One year, I wore a giant hoop skirt that got soaked in a sudden downpour, turning into a waterlogged fabric prison. By the end, I was less “Southern belle” and more “drowned Victorian ghost.”
Final Thoughts
This Memorial Day, whether you’re:
Grilling like your life depends on it.
Crying at a cemetery.
Stuck in traffic questioning all your choices.
Wearing a historically accurate outfit that could double as a boat anchor…
…take a second to remember why we have the day. Send a thankful prayer out to those who made the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country. Have a moment of silence.
. . .
Then proceed with burgers, cocktails, and maybe a friendly poker game in honor of those who went all in for America.
Happy Memorial Day, folks. Stay safe, stay grateful, and for the love of Lincoln, check the weather before wearing wool. 🇺🇸